Broken-down Poetry: pulling the plug.


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Monday, September 3, 2007

pulling the plug.

So I'm no longer his friend on Facebook. Ha, I felt like I was pulling the plug on a dying relative. What a mental image, putting to death my dreams. Or like on Titanic, it's like I let go of Jack and watched him sink to the bottom.

It's all not a very pretty picture.

But it was about time, wasn't it?

Now that I'm crushless and visonless... I have time to really see things. For one, I see opportunities. I have no money and I got a websiting potential. That's a good opportunity (and I jumped at it).

I'm noticing the kinds of people the churchians are. Should I be worried? Is there really a focus on the spiritual? I have one year to influence 'em. I am Ezekiel, wouldn't he do more? Wouldn't he make more of an effort to keep these guys accountable?

I don't really know yet. I don't know where God is taking me. But I trust Him.

God's always found time to teach me about trust. I remember one time He really questioned me on my reliance in Him. He asked me what it meant to trust, and all I came up with was that if I jumped off a cliff, He'd rescue me.

But can I trust Him with stuff like this? My dreams? My ambitions?

God, I want to. I really truly do.

And that's what I'm going to figure out.

Bring it on, Life.

I'm ready.

In Him. With Love,

Lauren Deidra

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