My guy friends have a peculiar habit. (Peculiar I say because I don't believe a lot of guys even worry about stuff like this.)
They are girl-protectors. Now, let's move past my tendencies to be a strong, woman-power kinda chica and focus on the BENEFITS of this theory. (My point: I don't believe I need protecting most of the time. I have a thing called a gut and I know how to use it.)
BENEFITS: There are occasionally jerky guys that I need my guy friends to keep outta my life. i.e. John Derek.
STORY: Missions trip 2007, Lauren crushes on a nice looking lad named John Derek Raymond. Turns out he "liked her." (He lived in Louisiana, did I mention that?) But he liked a lot of other girls. A lot. So Lauren's guy friends kept him away from her.
That was nice; I appreciated it.
But, sometimes this peculiar habit has gone a little crazy. i.e. kid in youth group that "liked me." Another friend kept this kid away from me. I don't know why it was necessary, the kid wasn't going to harm me in anyway. But, I didn't like that guy so it didn't hurt that my friend kept him away.
MORE CRAZY: Two of my guy friends tried to keep me from liking this one guy just because they didn't know him. He was a great guy--a Christian--but the guys didn't approve.
Which, like I said before, that's all fine. I don't feel I need protected, but I appreciate the guys' manly efforts to keep jerks away from me.
BUT, here comes the irony: While my guy friends are warding off all these John-Derek-jerks, who's protecting me from MY GUY FRIENDS?
Oh, no, you can't like dude from that church because I don't know him. Or, I'll keep that dude away from you because he likes three other girls.
BUT I can swoop in, like another girl (let's say), or treat you badly (perhaps), or even play games.
How come they get off the hook?
The underlying principle is this: this women-protecting my guy friends are doing can only work if done in the context of a inner-relying community. What I mean by that is that all members of the community must agree to certain ideals so that no one can be taken advantage of.
The goal of any community is to promote the interests of the other members of the group. Isn't that true? Think of the ACTS 2 church: they shared everything, prayed for each other, loved one another ("they were in one heart")--they were ONE ACCORD. They didn't let their girls get involved with jerks but they didn't become jerks themselves.
They understood that community meant that everyone was equal, everyone had a part, everyone was to be respected and loved.
I think I'm in a perfect community right now, and I confess it isn't my church nor my youth group. It's L.A.M. (AKA Clam or Lamb or Glam)
My friends Austin and Matt and I meet for coffee every week to talk about anything and everything. We are real with each other--that's truly the basis of our friendship. We hardly ever agree on each others' opinions, but we know that we are not going to get shot down if we're totally out of line. We respect each other. We offer advice and take it to heart. We joke around; we don't try to edit ourselves.
That's a community.
It's not a group of bickering people deciding who's turn it is to date so-and-so nor is it a bunch of teens tearing each other apart for believing in predestination over free-will. It's a group founded in love: true, unadulterated LOVE.
[dedicated to austin and matt. you guys make me happy.]
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Thursday, April 10, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
nothing wrong with my changing world..
Last September God told me that this season of my life was going to be about change-- I believe that was an understatement.
I experienced change in about every area of my life since then: a new car, a new job, new friends, new hobbies. And... some bad ones: lost friends, lost a crush, lost hope. All were meant to make me stronger, I believe. I was wrestling, like Jacob, with each instance desiring to be changed--for God to touch my hip so I may walk out of here different.
And I kind of thought that that season was over.
I'm not really sure why, I just thought that all the changing had been done. But was I any stronger? Was I any wiser? Clearly not, because Sunday God reminded me of a thing or two...
I'm not done changing. The world before me is not done changing. And whether it is cliche to say this or not, it has really just begun.
Sunday I sat and I heard God called me out--via my pastor Paul--on my biggest crime: pride. I am "Know it all." I do believe I have it all together and everyone else is just a foolish sinner. I don't need a mentor (and if I did, it would be someone famous. Like John Eldredge. Or, Don Miller). I talk down to people; I tell people when they don't know what they're talking about. I'm condescending.
More change: I sat with a girl I consider a Samaritan (and enjoyed it). I bit my tongue during youth group. My heart got broken. I clung to new friendships.
And dear Lord, in eight weeks there will be even more change. And two months after that, even more. I won't have my mommy to make sure I'm up in the morning or have her buy me my favorite granola bars (unless she wants to fedEx some!).
Change is never going to quit either. Whether God moves me into another season of life, I will never stop changing, I'll never stop growing--hopefully toward Him, hopefully into a stronger girl of God.
As Matty said in his Devoted article (that never got published, sorry) EMBRACE change. Love it. What's going on right now may seem like it will breed only more suffering, but hold fast. This moment is just a rung on a really, really long ladder, stay strong and stay close to God and you'll move up the ladder.
[Find your faith and dive deep, through living gateways pass
Lined with death and ivory, and hold fast, hold fast]
I experienced change in about every area of my life since then: a new car, a new job, new friends, new hobbies. And... some bad ones: lost friends, lost a crush, lost hope. All were meant to make me stronger, I believe. I was wrestling, like Jacob, with each instance desiring to be changed--for God to touch my hip so I may walk out of here different.
And I kind of thought that that season was over.
I'm not really sure why, I just thought that all the changing had been done. But was I any stronger? Was I any wiser? Clearly not, because Sunday God reminded me of a thing or two...
I'm not done changing. The world before me is not done changing. And whether it is cliche to say this or not, it has really just begun.
Sunday I sat and I heard God called me out--via my pastor Paul--on my biggest crime: pride. I am "Know it all." I do believe I have it all together and everyone else is just a foolish sinner. I don't need a mentor (and if I did, it would be someone famous. Like John Eldredge. Or, Don Miller). I talk down to people; I tell people when they don't know what they're talking about. I'm condescending.
More change: I sat with a girl I consider a Samaritan (and enjoyed it). I bit my tongue during youth group. My heart got broken. I clung to new friendships.
And dear Lord, in eight weeks there will be even more change. And two months after that, even more. I won't have my mommy to make sure I'm up in the morning or have her buy me my favorite granola bars (unless she wants to fedEx some!).
Change is never going to quit either. Whether God moves me into another season of life, I will never stop changing, I'll never stop growing--hopefully toward Him, hopefully into a stronger girl of God.
As Matty said in his Devoted article (that never got published, sorry) EMBRACE change. Love it. What's going on right now may seem like it will breed only more suffering, but hold fast. This moment is just a rung on a really, really long ladder, stay strong and stay close to God and you'll move up the ladder.
[Find your faith and dive deep, through living gateways pass
Lined with death and ivory, and hold fast, hold fast]
Friday, March 28, 2008
right here, yeah-yeah.
I wonder what Jesus would say to me if he was with me right now in my room, watching me drink my lukewarm Starbucks. I mean, yeah, he’s here. He’s listening to me and watching me (I can even hear him if I shoot a thought heavenward) but I mean physically. What if Jesus were sitting on my bed watching me type this? (I bet he’d correct my grammar for one.)
If Jesus were here I think he’d make some observations, silently to himself, or maybe he’d whisper them or write them in the dirt (if I had dirt in my room).
First, he’d say quietly or in his head, she is very distracted. She’s typing, but she’s thinking about a million other things. He’d know this not just by observing me, but reading my thoughts—Jesus can do that too, you know.
Jesus would question my distractions, whether they are legit or not. Can she really be devoted to writing—or to me—if she’s distracted all the time? He’d probably wonder why I expect other people to stay focused all the time when I cannot do it myself. And why I condemn other people’s idols when I have built some of my own, bowing down to them five times a day, dressing them in gold claiming they’re worth something. They’re not worth anything, these idols of mine—these gods being everything consuming my mind: my music, my laptop, Starbucks, my cell phone, even my writing. All idols. I mean, they can be.
The second thing Jesus would notice about me is my clothing. I think he likes the shirt I’m wearing, it has a nice purple floral print. The neckline could be a little scandalous if I chose to bend down slowly in front of a man, but I won’t. There aren’t even men around. And I bet Jesus would notice my jeans—American Eagle brand—and maybe consider my bra and how much money I spent on it (twice the price of my shirt). He’d probably then ask me why I spent so much money on clothes, and why they mean so much to me.
I’d hesitate, probably, not sure what to say and curious as to why that was the first thing Jesus asked me all night. After shifting my glace a few times (Jesus’ powerful eyes would make me rather nervous) I’d answer him. In a pseudo-confident voice I’d say, “Well, Jesus, I spend a lot of money on clothes because they give me confidence.” And I might add, for a logical edge, “Most girls want to look pretty, Jesus, it makes them feel important. I’m just like everyone else.”
He’d nod. If you notice from scripture Jesus wasn’t always quick to rebuttal someone’s ignorance. And when he did respond it was usually short or in the form of a rhetorical question. If Jesus had this conversation with me in my bedroom right now, I would expect him to say something profound.
“Why do you want to find your worth in other people?” Jesus would ask.
“But I don’t, Jesus,” I’d argue. “I just want to feel important. That’s different, you see. I know I matter to you, I just want other’s to realize it too.”
“Is that so?”
Is that so? Why do I wear these clothes? Why do I want that new Kelly green jacket from Delia’s? It’s all about my image: I must look good in order to feel good in order to believe I matter—to other people.
I would not respond because I would not know how.
Next, Jesus would observe my closed door. It’s a nice door—oak, with a shiny brass handle—but it’s shut and not much goes in or out. Granted, my music—if played too loudly (which it always is)—seeps through. But nothing tangible leaves or enters my room for hours.
Jesus would question me as to why that is, or, as mentioned before, he may just think about it or maybe stand up and observe the threshold itself.
How much time do I spend in my room?
6:45-7:10 a.m.: In my room.
7:10-7:17 a.m.: Getting coffee and my books for school.
7:17-7:34 a.m.: Picking up brother and driving to school.
7:34-7:50 a.m.: At my locker.
7:50-1:03 p.m.: In class.
1:03-1:07 p.m.: At my locker.
1:07-1:25 p.m.: Driving home from school.
1:25-2:30 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
2:30-4:00 p.m.: In my room.
4:00-5:00 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
5:00-5:45 p.m.: Making dinner and eating it.
5:45-6:45 a.m.: In bedroom.
It was fine at first: I am in my room for a little bit before school and a little after school (between TV shows). Then all of the sudden it’s 5:45 at night and that’s the last you’ll see of me. I have a laptop with internet access, an iPod stereo, a sink/vanity, and a bag full of Easter candy at my disposal, not to mention the door to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I don’t need to leave. If I want to get a drink, sure, I’ll have to leave. But I go right back up into my room and shut the door.
I bet my mom misses me.
I bet Jesus wishes I left the door open every once in a while. He knows that I need to be available to people just like he was. The Bible records instances when Jesus goes off to the mountainside alone but he is with people the rest of the time. And the only time he is alone it is to pray—not to check his Facebook or to listen to Kings of Leon.
Man is not supposed to spend all this time alone—I am not an island….
Jesus would sit there watching me think all these thoughts, probably drinking his own Starbucks (not lukewarm, of course. Revelations tells us he’s not a fan of lukewarm things). I don’t think he would scorn me much, though he disagrees with what I’m doing with my time. He knows that I’ll learn it time, that it is through spending time with him I’ll know more about how I should live.
If Jesus were here I think he’d make some observations, silently to himself, or maybe he’d whisper them or write them in the dirt (if I had dirt in my room).
First, he’d say quietly or in his head, she is very distracted. She’s typing, but she’s thinking about a million other things. He’d know this not just by observing me, but reading my thoughts—Jesus can do that too, you know.
She’s thinking about me being here with her but she’s also thinking about the taste of that Starbucks. It’s getting gritty and not very tasty. She wants to keep drinking it but she isn’t satisfied. And her iPod—he’d notice my iPod—it’s on pause but she’s dying to press play again. She wants to listen to the rest of this song.
Jesus would question my distractions, whether they are legit or not. Can she really be devoted to writing—or to me—if she’s distracted all the time? He’d probably wonder why I expect other people to stay focused all the time when I cannot do it myself. And why I condemn other people’s idols when I have built some of my own, bowing down to them five times a day, dressing them in gold claiming they’re worth something. They’re not worth anything, these idols of mine—these gods being everything consuming my mind: my music, my laptop, Starbucks, my cell phone, even my writing. All idols. I mean, they can be.
The second thing Jesus would notice about me is my clothing. I think he likes the shirt I’m wearing, it has a nice purple floral print. The neckline could be a little scandalous if I chose to bend down slowly in front of a man, but I won’t. There aren’t even men around. And I bet Jesus would notice my jeans—American Eagle brand—and maybe consider my bra and how much money I spent on it (twice the price of my shirt). He’d probably then ask me why I spent so much money on clothes, and why they mean so much to me.
I’d hesitate, probably, not sure what to say and curious as to why that was the first thing Jesus asked me all night. After shifting my glace a few times (Jesus’ powerful eyes would make me rather nervous) I’d answer him. In a pseudo-confident voice I’d say, “Well, Jesus, I spend a lot of money on clothes because they give me confidence.” And I might add, for a logical edge, “Most girls want to look pretty, Jesus, it makes them feel important. I’m just like everyone else.”
He’d nod. If you notice from scripture Jesus wasn’t always quick to rebuttal someone’s ignorance. And when he did respond it was usually short or in the form of a rhetorical question. If Jesus had this conversation with me in my bedroom right now, I would expect him to say something profound.
“Why do you want to find your worth in other people?” Jesus would ask.
“But I don’t, Jesus,” I’d argue. “I just want to feel important. That’s different, you see. I know I matter to you, I just want other’s to realize it too.”
“Is that so?”
Is that so? Why do I wear these clothes? Why do I want that new Kelly green jacket from Delia’s? It’s all about my image: I must look good in order to feel good in order to believe I matter—to other people.
I would not respond because I would not know how.
Next, Jesus would observe my closed door. It’s a nice door—oak, with a shiny brass handle—but it’s shut and not much goes in or out. Granted, my music—if played too loudly (which it always is)—seeps through. But nothing tangible leaves or enters my room for hours.
Jesus would question me as to why that is, or, as mentioned before, he may just think about it or maybe stand up and observe the threshold itself.
How much time do I spend in my room?
6:45-7:10 a.m.: In my room.
7:10-7:17 a.m.: Getting coffee and my books for school.
7:17-7:34 a.m.: Picking up brother and driving to school.
7:34-7:50 a.m.: At my locker.
7:50-1:03 p.m.: In class.
1:03-1:07 p.m.: At my locker.
1:07-1:25 p.m.: Driving home from school.
1:25-2:30 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
2:30-4:00 p.m.: In my room.
4:00-5:00 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
5:00-5:45 p.m.: Making dinner and eating it.
5:45-6:45 a.m.: In bedroom.
It was fine at first: I am in my room for a little bit before school and a little after school (between TV shows). Then all of the sudden it’s 5:45 at night and that’s the last you’ll see of me. I have a laptop with internet access, an iPod stereo, a sink/vanity, and a bag full of Easter candy at my disposal, not to mention the door to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I don’t need to leave. If I want to get a drink, sure, I’ll have to leave. But I go right back up into my room and shut the door.
I bet my mom misses me.
I bet Jesus wishes I left the door open every once in a while. He knows that I need to be available to people just like he was. The Bible records instances when Jesus goes off to the mountainside alone but he is with people the rest of the time. And the only time he is alone it is to pray—not to check his Facebook or to listen to Kings of Leon.
Man is not supposed to spend all this time alone—I am not an island….
Jesus would sit there watching me think all these thoughts, probably drinking his own Starbucks (not lukewarm, of course. Revelations tells us he’s not a fan of lukewarm things). I don’t think he would scorn me much, though he disagrees with what I’m doing with my time. He knows that I’ll learn it time, that it is through spending time with him I’ll know more about how I should live.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Stand and Feel Your Worth
Wake, stand and feel your worth, O my soul.
Feel and know the word that can save us all.
At Sunday school and at youth group we've been talking about self-image: how we view ourselves in relation to how we view God. The correlation is this: if you are told you are a slut long enough you believe it about yourself and therefore believe that God thinks you're a slut also. Or a loser. Or a failure. Or whatever putdowns you have been bombarded with.
I guess you just figure that if the world thinks you're one way, it must be true, and God views you the same way.
And me? I feel like I'm a pretty self-confident girl. I've have good grades, a fun job, shiny red hair, and an amazing internship... but only half of me relishes in that. (And that side also has a tendancy to relish in all that a bit TOO much.)
The other half of me is convinced that I am inadequate. I am unworthy of everything and everyone I pursue. It's like this: I may be smart, but a voice is reminding me that I'm not smart enough. I may be pretty, but Ashley and Sam are prettier. I'm only second-rank. I can never be the best.
And maybe, maybe I cannot be the best. But it's killer to hear that I will never be good enough.
I constantly feel this way. I feel like I'm unworthy of dating a man-after-God's-own-heart kind of guy or befriend a certain person because they're too intelligent or cool. I'm unworthy. I'm not good enough and never will be.
I fight this; whenever I feel uncomfortable with not being up to par with the people around me I start to fight my insecurities with pride. Well, they may be more outgoing, but I've got more drive. Or, she may have a better voice, but I can write better.
I thought this way all my life: through middle school, through my underclassmen days. I just don't feel that I'm worthy of anything. That I don't matter. That I can never be good enough.
( Maybe this is why I have so much drive; I want to prove myself worthy. )
Nevertheless, through Tom's message Sunday night and morning I got to expose this stuff. I feel freer, not completely but I know in time I'll overcome. It's hard to let go of stuff you're used to. You know, "old habits die hard."
I do know this--I matter. I'm worthy. God made all men equal, meaning I am worthy to be the friend of anyone in the world. No one is greater than me. (But I am not called to put myself above anyone else either.)
George MacDonald put it this way--I love this!--"Here there is no room for ambition. Ambition is the desire to be above one's neighbor; and here there is no possibility of comparison with one's neighbor: no one knows what the white stone contains except the man who receives it.... Relative worth is not only unknown--to the children of the Kingdom it is unknowable" (emphasis mine).
I assume I'll have more on this later, but right now I think I'll just bask in the fact that I matter to God. :-)
Feel and know the word that can save us all.
At Sunday school and at youth group we've been talking about self-image: how we view ourselves in relation to how we view God. The correlation is this: if you are told you are a slut long enough you believe it about yourself and therefore believe that God thinks you're a slut also. Or a loser. Or a failure. Or whatever putdowns you have been bombarded with.
I guess you just figure that if the world thinks you're one way, it must be true, and God views you the same way.
And me? I feel like I'm a pretty self-confident girl. I've have good grades, a fun job, shiny red hair, and an amazing internship... but only half of me relishes in that. (And that side also has a tendancy to relish in all that a bit TOO much.)
The other half of me is convinced that I am inadequate. I am unworthy of everything and everyone I pursue. It's like this: I may be smart, but a voice is reminding me that I'm not smart enough. I may be pretty, but Ashley and Sam are prettier. I'm only second-rank. I can never be the best.
And maybe, maybe I cannot be the best. But it's killer to hear that I will never be good enough.
I constantly feel this way. I feel like I'm unworthy of dating a man-after-God's-own-heart kind of guy or befriend a certain person because they're too intelligent or cool. I'm unworthy. I'm not good enough and never will be.
I fight this; whenever I feel uncomfortable with not being up to par with the people around me I start to fight my insecurities with pride. Well, they may be more outgoing, but I've got more drive. Or, she may have a better voice, but I can write better.
I thought this way all my life: through middle school, through my underclassmen days. I just don't feel that I'm worthy of anything. That I don't matter. That I can never be good enough.
( Maybe this is why I have so much drive; I want to prove myself worthy. )
Nevertheless, through Tom's message Sunday night and morning I got to expose this stuff. I feel freer, not completely but I know in time I'll overcome. It's hard to let go of stuff you're used to. You know, "old habits die hard."
I do know this--I matter. I'm worthy. God made all men equal, meaning I am worthy to be the friend of anyone in the world. No one is greater than me. (But I am not called to put myself above anyone else either.)
George MacDonald put it this way--I love this!--"Here there is no room for ambition. Ambition is the desire to be above one's neighbor; and here there is no possibility of comparison with one's neighbor: no one knows what the white stone contains except the man who receives it.... Relative worth is not only unknown--to the children of the Kingdom it is unknowable" (emphasis mine).
I assume I'll have more on this later, but right now I think I'll just bask in the fact that I matter to God. :-)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Gifts n' all that.
Yesterday I learned that my spiritual gift is writing.
I had to take one of those spiritual gifts inventories for Jacque and Ricky's Bible study (I mean, they put a gun to my head and everything) and the one I took, all 140 questions, told me I have a gift for writing.
Well, I that like writing and that I think I'm good at it: that's all that means. Which to me is just fine.
One might question the difference between a spiritual gift and a regular secular gift. I think I'd like writing if I weren't a Christian, so does that make this concept of Spiritual gifts a fraud?
I mean, I'd probably even have a broader range of things to talk about as a secular writer because I have a tendancy to talk just about God in blogs and essays and such.
I do like what I learned about spiritual gifts though, that's kind of my point. (I'm a little woozy from the McDonald's I ate so I'm not writing as fluently as I should. I should not have eaten those burgers. Ugh, the memories of reading Fast Food Nation pour in.)
What I learned is more or less two-fold. Or three-fold... I just wanted to say "two-fold" really bad. What time is it?
1. Spiritual Gifts are different than regular run-of-the-mill heathen gifts because they are obtained AND/OR utilized after a person receives the Holy Spirit (upon conversion). For example, you cannot heal the sick, raise the dead, speak in tongues, or prophesy until you have Christ in your life.
But, you may ask, what about those other gifts like serving, teaching, and writing? Don't nonChristians have those gifts too?
Yes.
2. Spiritual Gifts are not in "full bloom" until a person receives the Holy Spirit BUT that does not mean the gift is not still there, but the impetus is not. Example: A person has the gift of helps and likes to give money to those in need but they aren't a spirit-filled vessel (ah, fancy church wordage!) that does NOT mean they aren't committed to helping people. This just means that the core of their reasoning for doing such an act is not clear. They do it to be nice. A Christian would do it to be nice BECAUSE Christ has called us to do so.
3. Spiritual Gifts Change. Today my gift may be writing and pastoring, but tomorrow it may be celibacy. Just kidding. But really, times change and so do we. At one point in my life it may be good that I am all about serving and doing behind-the-scenes work, but maybe when I'm older (and wiser) God will call me to speak to large crowds--who knows. We weren't all born (or re-born... heh heh) with the same gift we have later in life. I guess we could, but usually not. Our gifts change with our seasons.
I had to take one of those spiritual gifts inventories for Jacque and Ricky's Bible study (I mean, they put a gun to my head and everything) and the one I took, all 140 questions, told me I have a gift for writing.
Well, I that like writing and that I think I'm good at it: that's all that means. Which to me is just fine.
One might question the difference between a spiritual gift and a regular secular gift. I think I'd like writing if I weren't a Christian, so does that make this concept of Spiritual gifts a fraud?
I mean, I'd probably even have a broader range of things to talk about as a secular writer because I have a tendancy to talk just about God in blogs and essays and such.
I do like what I learned about spiritual gifts though, that's kind of my point. (I'm a little woozy from the McDonald's I ate so I'm not writing as fluently as I should. I should not have eaten those burgers. Ugh, the memories of reading Fast Food Nation pour in.)
What I learned is more or less two-fold. Or three-fold... I just wanted to say "two-fold" really bad. What time is it?
1. Spiritual Gifts are different than regular run-of-the-mill heathen gifts because they are obtained AND/OR utilized after a person receives the Holy Spirit (upon conversion). For example, you cannot heal the sick, raise the dead, speak in tongues, or prophesy until you have Christ in your life.
But, you may ask, what about those other gifts like serving, teaching, and writing? Don't nonChristians have those gifts too?
Yes.
2. Spiritual Gifts are not in "full bloom" until a person receives the Holy Spirit BUT that does not mean the gift is not still there, but the impetus is not. Example: A person has the gift of helps and likes to give money to those in need but they aren't a spirit-filled vessel (ah, fancy church wordage!) that does NOT mean they aren't committed to helping people. This just means that the core of their reasoning for doing such an act is not clear. They do it to be nice. A Christian would do it to be nice BECAUSE Christ has called us to do so.
3. Spiritual Gifts Change. Today my gift may be writing and pastoring, but tomorrow it may be celibacy. Just kidding. But really, times change and so do we. At one point in my life it may be good that I am all about serving and doing behind-the-scenes work, but maybe when I'm older (and wiser) God will call me to speak to large crowds--who knows. We weren't all born (or re-born... heh heh) with the same gift we have later in life. I guess we could, but usually not. Our gifts change with our seasons.
* * *
I'm just contemplating today. I don't have a conclusion (it's like AP English all over again. No, Mrs. Pickett I don't have a strong conclusion DEAL with IT!)
Just... learn your gifts and use them. There, I gave this blog some warrant.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Not a Feel-Good Faith
This Sunday I got the prestigious opportunity to do PowerPoint for the morning service at church. Now, when I say prestigious, I mean it because there is great responsibility behind that job: if I clicked too fast or too slow the entire church would notice. I was scared. But, I did okay despite Tom forgetting a verse to a song... and whatever happened to the Communion slide?
Oh well.
That's not really my point at all. My point is that I was doing PowerPoint during my pastor Paul's sermon which, in my opinion, was one of his best. Even though it was about hell.
I think I liked it because it tied in nicely to our discussion on Letter to a Christian Nation in English class. We were discussing the purpose of religion: is it just a mode of comfort? Is Christianity just about making it to heaven?
I began to think about this and considered that maybe this is how religions started. Maybe cavemen 20,000 years ago wanted to believe that there was Someone who inspired their wheel invention or caused the lightening in the sky. Maybe ancient Egyptians didn't want to have to explain every wondrous sign and gave credit to other beings--gods.
But honestly, if I think about my faith and its basic principles... it isn't very comforting at all. I mean, Christianity was birthed from the Jewish faith based on strict laws and statutes. To go back before Christ I would be obligated to sacrifice animals for every sin I committed (intentional or not), to only eat certain animals, to marry young and bare lots of children, and if I were a man... get circumcised.
No, I don't think my faith is based around comfort.
Of course, one could argue Grace. Maybe Grace is what makes Christianity a feel-good religion. But again, does it? Does God say we can do whatever we want with no eternal or earthly consequences? Of course not.
My religion--my faith--is not built upon comfort and fluffy God-moments. But yet, let's look at the other side of the coin (so to speak).
Christianity does offer hope. It offers freedom from sin and restoration both on earth and eternally in heaven. This is my impetus for trusting Christ with my life, sure, but that's not all of Christianity. I have hope, I have transcendent peace, but I still have my earthly sin-sickness.
In other words, I still have to deal with heartache here on earth.
So then, is Christianity a feel-good faith because it offers eternal happiness in heaven? I don't think it's that either. How many people sit around planning for the future--I mean REALLY planning for the future--and take no time worrying about themselves right here and now? Not many. It's hard saving up money for a future that is five years away, let alone for ten or twenty years down the road. Just knowing that when I die (in a good 60 years at least... hopefully) I will go to an everlasting (and rather vague) Paradise is not satisfying. Is it satisfying for you? Is that what you wake up for every morning?
I suppose it sounds like I am cutting down my faith right now. I make it sound like a strict "do-this, do-that" kind of religion and it's not... but it is at the same time. We have these rules because we have free-will... which seems rather contradicting, so I won't get into it. [I'll save that for another blog.]
I know my faith (my personal one). I know that without believing that God is a thought, breath, sigh, or blink away I'd be one depressed little girl. But I also know it goes deeper than that. I know God calls me to a righteous life--an unattainable life on my own, but with His help it's achievable. I truly believe that.
And so, I am eager to conclude this blog with the same two points my pastor did last Sunday....
1. How I live (right now) matters. Christianity is not just about planning for some distant judgment day, but it is about the present. What am I doing with my life now? Am I living for myself or for others?
2. There are consequences for my actions on earth. Meaning, although I am covered with Grace by giving Christ my life, I am still obligated to leave my sinful ways behind, so to speak, and be obedient to God's rules.
And, if I dare, I would like to make one more point....
3. Go in peace. Yes, our actions do matter right now. We are told to be "blameless and pure children of God" and to establish God's kingdom on earth (not just wait till we get to heaven) BUT we cannot sit and fret about it either. Seek first His kingdom. Do not worry. It'll be okay.
This argument seems a little cyclical, so let me make a sweet summary for you all:
Christianity offers forgiveness for our iniquities but does not offer a freebie to sin. It's not just about planning for some distant vacation to heaven, but focuses on the here and now. We can relish in the fact that we have hope in Christ but it shouldn't blind us to the sin in our lives. We need to repent; we need to be free from sin.
Oh well.
That's not really my point at all. My point is that I was doing PowerPoint during my pastor Paul's sermon which, in my opinion, was one of his best. Even though it was about hell.
I think I liked it because it tied in nicely to our discussion on Letter to a Christian Nation in English class. We were discussing the purpose of religion: is it just a mode of comfort? Is Christianity just about making it to heaven?
I began to think about this and considered that maybe this is how religions started. Maybe cavemen 20,000 years ago wanted to believe that there was Someone who inspired their wheel invention or caused the lightening in the sky. Maybe ancient Egyptians didn't want to have to explain every wondrous sign and gave credit to other beings--gods.
But honestly, if I think about my faith and its basic principles... it isn't very comforting at all. I mean, Christianity was birthed from the Jewish faith based on strict laws and statutes. To go back before Christ I would be obligated to sacrifice animals for every sin I committed (intentional or not), to only eat certain animals, to marry young and bare lots of children, and if I were a man... get circumcised.
No, I don't think my faith is based around comfort.
Of course, one could argue Grace. Maybe Grace is what makes Christianity a feel-good religion. But again, does it? Does God say we can do whatever we want with no eternal or earthly consequences? Of course not.
My religion--my faith--is not built upon comfort and fluffy God-moments. But yet, let's look at the other side of the coin (so to speak).
Christianity does offer hope. It offers freedom from sin and restoration both on earth and eternally in heaven. This is my impetus for trusting Christ with my life, sure, but that's not all of Christianity. I have hope, I have transcendent peace, but I still have my earthly sin-sickness.
In other words, I still have to deal with heartache here on earth.
So then, is Christianity a feel-good faith because it offers eternal happiness in heaven? I don't think it's that either. How many people sit around planning for the future--I mean REALLY planning for the future--and take no time worrying about themselves right here and now? Not many. It's hard saving up money for a future that is five years away, let alone for ten or twenty years down the road. Just knowing that when I die (in a good 60 years at least... hopefully) I will go to an everlasting (and rather vague) Paradise is not satisfying. Is it satisfying for you? Is that what you wake up for every morning?
I suppose it sounds like I am cutting down my faith right now. I make it sound like a strict "do-this, do-that" kind of religion and it's not... but it is at the same time. We have these rules because we have free-will... which seems rather contradicting, so I won't get into it. [I'll save that for another blog.]
I know my faith (my personal one). I know that without believing that God is a thought, breath, sigh, or blink away I'd be one depressed little girl. But I also know it goes deeper than that. I know God calls me to a righteous life--an unattainable life on my own, but with His help it's achievable. I truly believe that.
And so, I am eager to conclude this blog with the same two points my pastor did last Sunday....
1. How I live (right now) matters. Christianity is not just about planning for some distant judgment day, but it is about the present. What am I doing with my life now? Am I living for myself or for others?
2. There are consequences for my actions on earth. Meaning, although I am covered with Grace by giving Christ my life, I am still obligated to leave my sinful ways behind, so to speak, and be obedient to God's rules.
And, if I dare, I would like to make one more point....
3. Go in peace. Yes, our actions do matter right now. We are told to be "blameless and pure children of God" and to establish God's kingdom on earth (not just wait till we get to heaven) BUT we cannot sit and fret about it either. Seek first His kingdom. Do not worry. It'll be okay.
This argument seems a little cyclical, so let me make a sweet summary for you all:
Christianity offers forgiveness for our iniquities but does not offer a freebie to sin. It's not just about planning for some distant vacation to heaven, but focuses on the here and now. We can relish in the fact that we have hope in Christ but it shouldn't blind us to the sin in our lives. We need to repent; we need to be free from sin.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Abortion and all that
Every summer I go to Pro-Life Music Festival in Warsaw to listen to amazing bands for free.
I didn't realize until last year that this whole festival was to endorse Pro-Life legislation (well, duh).
The festival is very political. Very. I mean not only do you have abort73 (or whatever they're called) come and hand out flyers about killing babies, but you get speakers stating that it's "our job" to vote pro-life and I think Mitch Daniels came once. I think.
And yes, there are heathen-bashers (the ultra-conservatives that even moderates hate) and kiosks with Jesus junk. All the stuff that I cringe at.
Trust me, if Future of Forestry (eek! I got their autograph!!) and Flatfoot 56 didn't come last year I probably would have rethought attending. Maybe (it's a lot of fun if you ignore the politicking).
Wow I'm reallly wishy-washy.
Anyway, I was thinking about the concert today because, well, I wanted to know who's coming. [I bet The Classic Crime will come. Or Needtobreathe. Or The Glorious Unseen. One of the three (or all of them!)] And I thought that maybe there wouldn't be speakers about Pro-lifeism because the election had already passed.
Except that it won't. [June is before November, Sherlock] We will be in the midst of the last few months of the candidates' campaign. I bet this year will be the most political concert yet.
Hypothetically: Say it's Obama and McCain running against each other. Since McCain is pro-life, I just know the whole festival will be a McCain-endorsing fiesta. (If that's the case I plan on wearing a Barak Obama '08 shirt.)
I wish I was exaggerating, that I don't think this will happen. But I can guarentee it will. I'm worried that people will be naive enough to go to that concert and use it to decide on who to vote for. It shouldn't be like that.
I am going to vote for Obama in the primaries, not because I think he's rad or I just don't want Hillary to be president, it's because I've researched the candidate enough to know he's eligible to receive my vote. I want everyone to do that (and more so).
And when it comes to the pro-life issue, I believe Obama himself said it best:
I didn't realize until last year that this whole festival was to endorse Pro-Life legislation (well, duh).
The festival is very political. Very. I mean not only do you have abort73 (or whatever they're called) come and hand out flyers about killing babies, but you get speakers stating that it's "our job" to vote pro-life and I think Mitch Daniels came once. I think.
And yes, there are heathen-bashers (the ultra-conservatives that even moderates hate) and kiosks with Jesus junk. All the stuff that I cringe at.
Trust me, if Future of Forestry (eek! I got their autograph!!) and Flatfoot 56 didn't come last year I probably would have rethought attending. Maybe (it's a lot of fun if you ignore the politicking).
Wow I'm reallly wishy-washy.
Anyway, I was thinking about the concert today because, well, I wanted to know who's coming. [I bet The Classic Crime will come. Or Needtobreathe. Or The Glorious Unseen. One of the three (or all of them!)] And I thought that maybe there wouldn't be speakers about Pro-lifeism because the election had already passed.
Except that it won't. [June is before November, Sherlock] We will be in the midst of the last few months of the candidates' campaign. I bet this year will be the most political concert yet.
Hypothetically: Say it's Obama and McCain running against each other. Since McCain is pro-life, I just know the whole festival will be a McCain-endorsing fiesta. (If that's the case I plan on wearing a Barak Obama '08 shirt.)
I wish I was exaggerating, that I don't think this will happen. But I can guarentee it will. I'm worried that people will be naive enough to go to that concert and use it to decide on who to vote for. It shouldn't be like that.
I am going to vote for Obama in the primaries, not because I think he's rad or I just don't want Hillary to be president, it's because I've researched the candidate enough to know he's eligible to receive my vote. I want everyone to do that (and more so).
And when it comes to the pro-life issue, I believe Obama himself said it best:
"I don't know anybody who is pro-abortion. I think it's very important to start with that premise. I think people recognize what a wrenching, difficult issue it is. I do think that those who diminish the moral elements of the decision aren't expressing the full reality of it. But what I believe is that women do not make these decisions casually, and that they struggle with it fervently with their pastors, with their spouses, with their doctors.Our goal should be to make abortion less common, that we should be discouraging unwanted pregnancies, that we should encourage adoption wherever possible. There is a range of ways that we can educate our young people about the sacredness of sex and we should not be promoting the sort of casual activities that end up resulting in so many unwanted pregnancies." [Christianity Today, Jan. 2008]
Yes, this is a very big issue (abortion). But I think that evangelicals aren't thinking. There's a deeper issue at large here: can the government make decisions for the people like this? Will it even stop abortion? (has it in the 25 years since Roe vs. Wade?)
Abortion is bad, so don't have one. Abortion is bad, so warn people-- don't make it solely political. When social justice becomes just a political issue rather than a personal conviction, it loses its heart and we become hateful Christians who stand outside abortion clinics and harass women instead of loving them.
Listening to Mitch Daniels or a dozen pro-life organizations is not going to help me change the lives of women who believe they need an abortion. God calls us to take care of the refuse of the world, just keeping a failing law in place will not be enough.
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