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Saturday, April 24, 2010

... and overcomes conflict to get it.

I go home Wednesday - I'm halfway through college. I'm terrified; I'm sad. I love college - especially the learning - and I don't want it to end. But I'm beat. I'm sick of writing papers. I want to rest my brain.

In between writing this, I'm working on my final exam for Media and Society. We're supposed to comprehensively write about our approach to media literacy, using just about everything we've learned this semester. Dr. Perry suggested we start with a specific medium or issue and go from there. 

I decided to start with RELEVANT.

Seven months ago Kevin Erickson emailed me about his RELEVANT thesis. Six months ago I sobbed and screamed at God for killing my dream. 

But now I'm writing about RELEVANT and what it has taught me about media literacy and what I think Neil Postman would have to say about it. And it's forcing me to relive last fall. I'm rereading Kevin's thesis - yes, all 99 pages. I'm rereading my emails with former employees. I'm reading that email from Jason Boyett where this game started.

But you know what? It's okay. It's really okay. In fact, I don't want to work for RELEVANT. I think it'd be cool ... and I wish there were more magazines like RELEVANT out there ... but I don't need to work there.

I'm beginning to wonder if it was just getting  in the way. Maybe that whole experience was the "inciting incident" that got me from there to ... well ... Iraqi Kurdistan.


My mom said yes - I'm going to Iraq this summer.

God is good. How good? Let's see:

December: Lauren finds Preemptive Love Coalition internship
December: Lauren tells sister about PLC internship. Sister freaks out.
December: Lauren tells mom about PLC internship. Mom freaks out.
January: Lauren tries to convince mom that she can handle said internship. Mom says no.
January: Lauren prays a lot.
January: Lauren fasts Wednesday lunches.
January: Lauren applies anyway ...
February: Lauren buys passport
February: Sister finds out and freaks out.
February: Mom finds out and freaks out.
February: Lauren considers giving up dream.
February: Lauren reconsiders giving up dream.
March: Lauren can't sleep because she doesn't know what to do.
March: Lauren gets internship!
March: Sister finds out and freaks out.
March: Lauren still can't sleep because she doesn't know what to do.
March: Lauren tells mom about internship.
March: Mom says no again.
March: Lauren tries to reason with mom to no avail.
March: Mom gives Lauren a chance to "propose" the internship to her and stepdad.
March: Lauren prays a lot.
April: Lauren asks other people to pray.
April: Lauren proposes internship. It doesn't look good.
April: Mom contacts lots of people who know PLC. It looks better.
April: Mom changes her mind!
April: Lauren buys plane tickets. :)

I know I didn't handle that maturely. The praying part was good, so was the fasting, but the going behind my mother's back thing was not. The arguments and stubbornness wasn't good either.

But holy cow. O Jacob, you worm: I am nothing. This, this was all GOD. I can't even make it seem like this was my doing. GOD worked a huge miracle. 


I leave in less than a month. I'm not scared yet; I don't have time to be scared. There's so much planning I need to do. 

To think I was so sure I'd be planning for my RELEVANT internship this time last year.

Instead, I'm planning to spend the summer in freaking Iraq. IRAQ! Man alive. I get to work for a organization whose mission statement I not only believe in, but can be sure that they live up to it. 

Praise GOD - he knows what he's doing. 


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