Though it linger, wait for it.

A conversation:

At dinner.
LAUREN: (Stares down at her food, not talking.)
MOLLY: So how are things?
LAUREN: Uhm. Stressful.
MOLLY: Don't you have anything to be excited about?
LAUREN: Uhm. Not really.

That conversation depresses me. In fact, you might think that I might be depressed because of that conversation. That may be an overstatement. I'm not depressed, not sad even. Somber is a better word.

In A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, which I finished reading for the second time this week, Don Miller writes about how after a tragedy God gives us a season of numbness, Grace for a broken heart.

No tragedy has overcome me or anything. Life is, in most cases, pretty decent. I like my classes; I love my job. But whatever happened last fall - a series of semi-tragic events - has come to haunt me. My numbness period is over. Pain awakens from hibernation.

But when pain delays like this, it's difficult to deal with. I feel like it should be behind me, and it's not. Is it worth crying over now?

I wrote a blog post a few months ago about all the fall drama. Everything I was faced with then I'm feeling the pain of now. I don't want to deal with this anymore. Bleh.

But maybe this means the band aid's off.
The wound is exposed.
It's time for healing.

I hope.

with love and squalor,
Lauren