The Sims mindset

I know I'm a fool, no one needs to tell me that.

We talked about pilgrimages today in English and it made me very pensive. I mean, very. To go into it at all would be confusing and overwhelming so I'll save it for later blogs. Nevertheless, there is one thing I've thought about today. And that is dating.

Now, to how I got from pilgrimages to dating doesn't make a bunch of sense, so I won't bother. It all boils down to my overarching theme of the season: change. But like I said, I won't go into all that.

I decided to fast from crushing. (That sounds awfully dorky.) I made a commitment that for at least 2 months I won't crush on anyone. God helping, I hope to be crush free until next year. I'm learning a lot about people.

I hate admitting this because it's not deep or anything, but I just started realizing what it means to have a guy friend. For my whole life (and I really do mean my whole life) I assumed that befriending a guy beyond being his acquaintance meant that I like-liked him. I call this the "Sims" mindset.

[Explanation: On the Sims, when a girl and guy Sim talks, their liking of the other person rises. It starts at aquaintance, then "warm," then friends, then it jumps to in love.]

I have quite a few guy acquaintances and guy "warms." Half the youth group is guys, I have no choice. But taking that relationship to the friend level has been impossible for me. I don't really know why.

I've never really had a close guy friend. Well, I was close to Austin then we dated (psh, screwed that friendship up). And I want to be friends with Todd and with Luke but there are so many strings attached. Why does it have to be that way?

And I think I like guys hanging out with guys more than girls 90% of the time. Girls are dramatic, guys just take things as they come. But it is just so difficult because of the way people, and hollywood, put expectations of guy-girl relationships. [Segway into my AP English practice essay for this week!]

How many TV shows or movies show guy-girl friends that don't end up in a dating relationship? Let me give you a hint: NONE. [Example: the couple in You've Got Mail, Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, Nancy Drew and Ned, Ross and Rachel, the couple in 13 Going on 30, Lane and that one guitarist guy on Gilmore Girls, etc]

Maybe I am ignorant or something; maybe guys and girls can't just be friends. It just doesn't seem right. So I am going to defy all the laws of whatever and make more guy friends. No strings. No future dating. No secret crush.